Brought to you late via the magic of Daylight Savings Time. For those paying attention, it may occur to you that my gameplan, such as it is, has been lacking. Ah, it is but a cunning disguise, concealing the fact that I have no gameplan. Should really work on that. Tonight’s film highlights my selection process: if all else fails, pick a funny name. Let’s catch this train, before it derails. (It is a topical joke.)

First off, for what started as somewhat of a joke for a contest entry, the final product shows remarkable polish; far more than I expected, and more than some “blockbuster” films I’ve seen. The colour choices help tell the story, which is good, because they’re fairly noticeably. I’m not usually one for films that seem to ask you to shut your brain down for maximum enjoyment, but I really had fun on this ride. The kills were akin to classic slasher “hall-of-famers”, even if by comparison they were fairly tame. Gratuitous gore aplenty, and it feels so good. The villains were despicable enough you wanted them turned into blood fountains, and the hero was likable enough that you could empathise with the position he was in. The only downside was the actress playing the female lead. I’m not sure she had enough experience to do the role justice, and in a movie like this, it really shows. All in all, a grand old romp through the gore garden. 4/5.