Like I predicted, this review’s “news” section is mostly rambling filler. Not sure how that differs from the usual, if I’m honest, but i can see a benefit into spacing these things out a little more. If only so I’ve got different things to, if you’ll pardon the joke, waffle on about. Nothing really new besides the completion of my “Omega Ruby” team completion (Beautifly, Gardevior, Crobat, Donphan, Poliwrath, Hitmonlee for the curious), and a start on the new Smash Bros. title. So with that…

Now, I’m trying to think of the best ways to frame these points wihtout feeling like I’m crossing some lines, but I don’t really have enough experience with the discussion to know where the mines lay, so I’ll just say it: Neo is supposed to be Jesus, yes? The energy resembling wings of light, the pose that is basically like a crucifiction, the whole thing with the betrayal guy. Neo is Techno-Jesus. Except, he’s also Superman and Goku to boot. Seriously, I read comics and manga that are less ridiculous about their power-creep than this film. But I said “points”, which leads me to my next potentially sore point. There are a lot of black people in Zion. It’s not a bad thing at all, becuase it doesn’t make a difference to the character or the story in any way. It’s refreshing to see what amounts to a major Hollywood picture with a more diverse cast than is “expected” It’s just, it’s like someone pointing out a nearly-invisible crack in a pane of glass: Once you know it’s there, you can’t help but notice it. Had no problem with it until I noticed about halfway though Reloaded. Again, good to see.

It seems I’m doomed to encounter parts of films that run for several times longer than they need to, for the sake of filler. The entire chase sequence of the ship in the tunnel could easily have been a fraction of the runtime it took, but I guess it was necessary to make it feel like it was on parity with the “real world” Neo vs. Smith fight. Not technically Smith, the betrayal guy. Can’t remember his name, doubt he’s important enough to be in the credits anyway, but you know what I mean.

Again, I should mention the design of Zion and what it entails. Every moving part looks like it’s ready to rust shut or fall apart, which is the best coice for the setting. Conversely, why do the machines need skyscrapers? Are they just co-opting the city the took over? You’d think they’d have torn it down for a more efficient design. At the very least, try not to make it like a concept art sketch of “DARK FUTURE CITY” that someone’s glanced at and decided to call it a day. On the subject of criticism, I return to the figt sequences. Again, the beautiful free-flowing back-and-forth ruined by the wire effects, only this time they’re adding literal flight. Just throw a Spirit Bomb and be done with it, you’ve already taken enough piss.

Emotionless acting and really quite bad dialogue just didn’t help at all in this outing. But I feel I might have to take a bit of a contentious stand here: it wasn’t a bad movie. Certainly not a good movie, but not bad. It was bland and forgettable with a bit of an unfortunately aggresive religious tone, but it was inoffensive. And if that’s the best one sentence review you can get: “Not bad, not good, it certainly exists.”, maybe you should look at different creative options. 2.5/5