Ha! Only a single day late! Take THAT, past me! Now, since it’s only been a couple of days, there’s not going to be much in what I consider the “news” section of the review, and probably the same or less in the next one. I mean, it’s been hot, which is expected for a traditional Aussie Christmas, but other than that it’s same old-same old. The only real thing that’s happened out of the usual grind has been the setup of my streaming tech for later this week. Oh, I’ll be streaming starting from this week. You may have noticed the addition to the calendar on the main page, but probably not, provably no-one ever reads these but me anyway.

So we’re pretty much dropping most of the story of the movie in favour of the action sequences, yes? I could tell. there are still some overarching plot threads but on the whole everything feels like a mix of killing for time and working unnecessary angles. Sure some of you may say that the introduction of Zion and its inhabitants are important to the story, which I can see the argument for, but to me it felt a little vestigial. We already knew that there was a single city as a last outpost-type deal, so the whole section dragged on a bit too long for my preference.

While I’m on the topic of “things dragging on too long”, that section with the French guy? Ugh, talk about a slog. I will give them, however, that the fight sequences flowed beautifully. Until the wire harnesses came into play. One second, there’s a fantastic back-and-forth of weaponry and fists, intertwined in a stately dance; the next, someone’s catapulting backwards while tumbling, looking both (a) rather uncomfortable, and (b) incredibly, offputtingly fake. Now, I know there;s supposed to be a suspension of disbelief on the audiences’ part, and I know that the fighting was basically a tribute to Eastern cinema at large, but really? The effects were so much better until everyone was jumping around like a flea with fleas. The Agent transformations in particular are much improved (to my eyes) from the last film, but then they show us that? Not a fan.

The aesthetic used for Zion and the ships continues to impress. It’s almost like a near-futuristic civilization was destroyed, yet lingers in a decaying post-apocalypse. I do have an issue with the costume department though. The Agents I get, they’re basically all the same anyway, so they have their suits as a uniform. But is there an explanation for the humans basically all in black leather with sunglasses? Is the height of imagination really just a trenchcoat and mirrored lenses? At least the original movie had someone wearing white, and someone else with a band t-shirt for crying out loud. Nope, it’s “welcome to the real world here’s your chaps”. Not even ONE person visualises the rags they normally put up with?

I can see why some people dismiss this out of hand. It’s hard to tolerate, but there’s enough breadcrumbs to keep you involved and watching. Maybe not enough to come back for seconds, but why would anyone want to make more money off repeat cinema viewings? Mad people, that’s who. 2/5